10 Life Lessons Only FIDM Could Teach
In June of 2017, I graduated from the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising with my Bachelor's degree in Business Management and an Associates of Arts degree in Merchandise Marketing.
When I first moved to Los Angeles I thought my life would be filled with bonfires on sun setting beaches, parties in the hills through Mulholland drive, shopping trips down Melrose Ave and bottomless mimosas at brunch. Boy, was I wrong. I seemed to have forgotten an essential part of my story… I was in college. The sad realization that I wouldn’t live like LC from the Hills painfully hit me.
Attending a small, specialized school such as the Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising (FIDM) offers a unique educational experience to its students. Most of my peers, including myself have a job (if not two or three) to afford the ridiculously high living expenses in Southern California. While other students my age were getting blackout drunk at frat parties, I often found myself with major FOMO cramming for an exam while helping customers get a flawless glow, working part-time at a tanning salon.
Don’t get me wrong, I love keeping busy and part of the joy of success is knowing I worked my ass off to get it! But my experiences as a college kid were very different than that of other students around the nation. If you have attended FIDM or another small, specialized school, you can probably relate to these essential life lessons that attending fashion school has taught me.
1. Not everyone wants to be your friend:
Wait…hold up…what?!? Yes, you heard right. Not everyone you’ll meet in college will want to be your friend.
If you’ve ever seen Legally Blonde, you can probably recall a scene where a cheery Elle Woods tries to befriend a study group in the Library by bringing a delicious-looking basket of muffins, just to be rejected by the group of preppy snobs because, “it’s like, a smart people thing.” Well, hopefully, your peers won’t be as harsh, but meeting the right group of people is hard.
When I first started at FIDM, I was fully aware of how small the school was and that’d I’d have to make a conscious effort to meet people. FIDM is structured differently from other colleges and it makes meeting new people a little more difficult than at a traditional university.
First, the courses taught at FIDM are either 3-hour lectures or 6-hour labs that meet once a week. While this structure works for individuals with jobs, it’s not ideal for meeting people. To build on this issue, each classroom is filled with only about 25-30 students. From an educational standpoint, intimate class settings are unbeatable. But from a social standpoint, it can be miserable. And as if making friends wasn't hard enough, the school does not offer on-campus housing, which is instrumental to making friends at a traditional university. While the school does offer student housing through nearby apartment complexes, I often found myself alone on the weekends because I lived near professionals, bachelors, single parents and other demographics.
Of course, you could argue that I attended school to get an education, not to make friends or that I should’ve chosen to go to a traditional university if I didn’t like the way FIDM is structured. With that said, it’s not like I didn’t try to meet people. I still recall the first group of girls I met at FIDM. Our parents introduced us on move-in day because we were all from Long Island, New York. Since we also had the same major of Merchandise Marketing, it may have seemed like we should’ve gotten along great. However, they seemed to enjoy each other’s company more than mine. While these girls were interested in smoking hookah and finding out who had the highest Adderall tolerance, I found myself more concentrated on my studies. My next group of friends came from all over the world. I enjoyed partying with them, getting late night french fries from Fat Burger and shopping in West Hollywood. However, we came from very different economic classes and my bank account wasn’t able to keep up with the friendship.
I was eventually able to meet a solid group of people at school. I learned very quickly that not everyone you’ll meet will want to be your friend. But if you're feeling worried, fear not because chances are you won’t want to be friends with everyone you meet either!
2. How to be yourself :
Okay, so I know this might not be the most believable thing coming from a bottle blonde, spray tanned, acrylic-nails, fake-lash-wearing girl, but I promise you that I’ve learned more about myself from attending FIDM than any of my friends who went to a ‘regular college.’
Let me start off by saying that while attending FIDM, I’ve met some of the FAKEST people in my entire life. Los Angeles has a bad reputation of being completely falsified and unfortunately, I have found this to be true. Almost everyone you’ll meet here is an aspiring singer, actor, model, dancer, or internet personnel. With respect to these careers, most of the people trying to find “stardom” will do anything and everything to make it happen. It’s almost sickening how people will find every excuse to talk about themselves and college is no different. You may be thinking, “Okay Rachel, so why don't you just avoid these people?” But identifying the egomaniacs isn't as obvious as it may seem.
With the newfound freedom that college offers, it's easy to find yourself wrapped up in the wrong crowd of people, doing things that don’t inspire you, and spiraling down an unforeseen path of despair. This was my life for a short period of time. The solid group of friends that I had finally met left Los Angeles to move home. Some of them graduated, some of them switched schools and others just decided to drop out completely. Of course, I was devastated at first, which led me right into the arms of the first people who were welcoming of me. I spent many late nights with these new friends gossiping about people in school, getting drunk at clubs in West Hollywood, hotboxing the Uber, and sneaking into frat parties at USC. While this seemed fun at first, I began to realize that these weren’t the type of people who actually cared about me and they certainly wouldn’t help me grow into the individual that I aspired to be. I slowly released myself from these toxic people and found myself alone yet again. However, this time it was by choice.
Life is so much simpler when you don’t have to put on an act just to be friends with someone. Throughout life, you will cross paths with many different types of people, some of whom will change your life for better or for worse. Absorb the healthy habits from those you admire, and dismiss those who repeatedly drag you down. I learned that by being myself, I can attract others with similar goals, interests, and objectives as me. I am now a happier person, have healthier relationships and am able to spread more positivity into the lives of others.
3. What you don’t want to do:
For most of us, we don’t just wake up one morning and decide what we want to do with the rest of our lives. Although our parents may have instilled in us that we need a plan in order to be successful, there are many trials and errors along the way that everyone seems to forget to mention. While finding what you're passionate about may take time, it’s quite simple to find out what you don’t want to do.
Internships are a great way to test out different career opportunities. FIDM has an amazing career center with many different networks all over the globe that can point you towards a path of success. My first internship was in social media marketing with a lifestyle company called GoodLooks. Through my experiences within this company, I found my own individual strengths & interests. Conversely, my second internship was not as successful. I worked in the retail buying department of BCBGMaxazria around the time when they filed for bankruptcy. While it was a great learning experience to be in a company while they were undergoing massive structural changes, I quickly learned that sitting at a desk all day looking at spreadsheets was not for me.
Although I still do not know which career is right for me, I can cross retail buying off the list. I’ve learned to trust the process of figuring out the future. If an interesting opportunity falls into your lap, be open and say yes to it. The worst thing that could happen is that you realize it's not the job for you. Knowing what you DON'T want to do, is just as important as knowing what you DO want to do.
4. Take charge of your own learning:
Not every professor will be your favorite. College places you in situations where the answers don’t always come easily and sometimes even instructors are wrong.
We all know general education classes suck but are required by all accredited universities. I remember a time during my A.A. at FIDM where I had to take the most basic (boring) U.S. History class. My teacher was a very opinionated liberal and looked like a hippy who smoked too much pot in the 70’s. She let her own personal opinions guide the way she instructed the course. In any other class, I’d be all for a debate, however, I didn’t think that History was a proper subject to express personal viewpoints. I recall a time when I was sitting in her class and she was discussing the 6 continents. Yes, that's right, SIX! My teacher believed that there were only 6 continents. The class burst with outrage and insisted on correcting her, shouting out the 7 geographic locations. From that day on, I completely zoned out of that class. How was I expected to trust a teacher who didn’t even know that there are 7 continents?!? I then had to take it upon myself to teach myself the entire curriculum so I could pass this bullsh*t history class.
Taking ownership of your own education doesn’t mean you’ll be completely alone through your college journey, however not every teacher will provide you with exactly what you need to succeed. You’ll be faced plenty of opportunities to take your learning into your own hands, find a way to acquire new skills and maybe even help others!
Tip: Seek instructors you are inspired by and soak up their knowledge. Build relationships with your instructors because it may open up doors to new opportunities.
5. Ask for help:
Not everyone shares in the social anxieties that I posses, but moving away from home and out of your comfort zone can be frightening for anyone.
One of my first days in Los Angeles was spent on a metro bus. Another student and I were at Starbucks near FIDM the day before classes started when we saw a bus that said “Hollywood.” Eager to learn our way around the new city, we hopped on. Boy, was that a mistake. To our surprise, the bus did not take us to Hollywood Boulevard to see the stars on the sidewalk; the bus did not take us through the canyon to the Hollywood sign; the bus did not take us to Griffith Observatory to view the stars. Once we realized this, we decided to get off and start walking. The girl I was with told me she had been to an amazing cafè in Hollywood and we were now destined to find it. Thankfully, we live in the 21st century and Uber exists, so after about an hour of walking in the heat, we got a ride. The Uber driver laughed at the story of our exploratory adventure and explained that we would’ve NEVER made it to the cafè on foot. If we had just asked the bus driver where the drop off location was, this whole catastrophe could’ve been avoided.
Moral of the story is that contrary to what you may think, asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. If you need assistance, do not be embarrassed to ask for help whether it be from your peers, professors, or even strangers on the street...(just be careful!)
6. Create your own opportunities:
So if you haven’t already realized by now, my college experience was pretty lonely at first. I started to get sick of seeing all my peers from high school having the time of their lives with their newfound friends. I was about a year into school when I had an epiphany. I planned to start the first local sorority at FIDM.
It took about 9 months of planning all together prior to even pitching the idea to the student activities board. I interviewed friends in other sororities, researched everything there is to know about Greek life, wrote an entire constitution and bi-laws, learned the Greek alphabet, made a website, polled female students at FIDM, composed a calendar, designed t-shirts, created social media accounts, chose a philanthropy to work with and registered the name in a list of local sororities. Once that was all done, I prepared a slideshow and presented it to the head of student activities.
She admired my hard work and dedication to creating the sorority but told me that the school would be unable to accept the group because it was not all-inclusive of both males and females…(Because I’m sure the 10% of guys at FIDM would be butthurt if they couldn’t join a sorority. *Insert eye roll*) …Anyway, what she did tell me, however, was that I could implement it as a club for students to join. And that’s precisely what I did. I made a list of almost all the currently enrolled students at the Los Angeles campus and reached out to them via Facebook. I explained who I was, why I created the sorority, and how they could benefit from joining. Of those people, I was able to initiate 24 young women, 4 of whom took a role next to me on the Executive Board.
Today, the sorority continues to grow as new members take on leading roles. They host events with other schools such as UCLA and USC; they work hard to raise money and volunteer to protect the Earth; they promote scholarship within each other’s academic lives, and best of all, they are sisters! It’s an honor to watch these college girls grow into proud women. If I helped at least one person make a new friend, my goal was accomplished.
Throughout this challenging process, I’ve learned that perseverance is key! FIDM has taught me that life doesn’t hand you anything. Jobs don’t fall on your lap, dreams just don’t happen, grades aren't handed to you, and friends just don’t appear. You have to work for things, you have to make things happen. Be your own advocate. The highest achievers don't wait for an opportunity to come to them, they seek it out.
7. Be assertive
The two words that I have always dreaded throughout my educational career are the words “group project.” Yet somehow it seems to make its way into every class, sometimes even more than once. Teachers at FIDM think that by assigning group projects they are preparing students for real life job experiences where you'd have to collaborate with your colleagues. However, I find that to be an utter load of crap! It’s not like a group project at a job where you know who you’re working with and even if you don’t, you know they’re qualified. It is college, where students will try to take advantage of each other to get the highest grade possible.
There was a time at FIDM where I was put on a group project for one of my trend classes. I stepped up and decided to proclaim myself as group leader. (Personally, I have trust issues and wouldn’t dare leave my precious grade in the hands of others.) I collected phone numbers and email addresses, split up the project and made a calendar of when everyone had to turn in their section of the rough and final draft. It was a sure path to success, but as you can imagine, there was one little brat who didn’t want to contribute.
She always made up excuses like she didn’t understand her part of the project or was too busy working to turn it in on time. The due date was approaching and we all compiled our work together to collaboratively revise it prior to turning it in. Obviously, this girls section was missing. Finally, 3 hours later she submitted a subpar section to the paper, which came up short. Then I realized she has also not added any slides to the presentation which was due the following day. I expressed my concerns to her while editing the final document. What else could go wrong? Well, this chick didn’t cite any of her work. 99% of it was plagiarized. When I asked her to reword the section and send me the MLA citations for the sources she used, I received an email from her containing links. GODDAMN LINKS! Like it’s my responsibility to make her citations!
In most with group projects, you get slackers who do not want to do their job. This creates an issue when it’s the day before the project is due and the slacker has not done his/her job of the group project. Other students in the group have to do that person’s work for him/her or even worse, your group can’t move on to the next part without getting the completed work from the slacker first.
Don’t fear to step up and be the team coordinator or leader. This doesn’t mean being the person who does all the work, but ensuring everything gets done on time because you're the only one who will be a hardass on these hooligans! Be assertive and tell the slacker to get on their sh*t!
8. If it won’t matter in a year, don’t worry about it now:
Perspective is one of the most valuable insights I have gained in the past couple of years. It’s very easy to ‘crack’ under the pressure that college piles on. The homework you haven't even started is due in an hour, you didn’t save your work and completely lost an essay you’d spent all day writing, you walk into class and realize you forgot you had a quiz today. Whatever hysteria may be brewing, I’ve been there! However, just as it’s important to study for that final exam, it’s equally as important to take a mental health break every once in awhile.
For me, this means sitting by the pool or getting a manicure and just switching my brain off. Of course, I understand that this is easier said than done, but realize that you are your most productive self when your needs are fulfilled first. Let me emphasize the again.
You are your most productive self when your needs are fulfilled first.
FIRST. Not last, not at the same time as you're doing a million other things, but FIRST. You can’t expect to get a good grade on a test you’ve been up all night cramming for if you’ve been depriving yourself of sleep. You won’t be able to seamlessly put together a 50-page research paper if you haven't been fueling your body properly.
Sometimes is easier to let things go than to get all worked up trying to be the perfect student. Ultimately, our own problems are so small when you look at the bigger picture. Next time you're on the verge of a mental breakdown, try prioritizing. Ask yourself, "Is what I'm stressing about going to matter in a year from now?"
9. Have Morals:
During this time in your life, you may feel like you know all the solutions to how the world works. Truth is, furthering your education may test your limits. Standing up for what you believe in can be incredibly difficult, especially when faced with people of all different cultures, religions, and backgrounds.
College tossed me into a whole new world filled with all different kinds of people. They weren’t all like me. There were times when my personal values were challenged. I grew to appreciate and respect those amazing cultural differences but still remained true to my own code of right & wrong.
College gives you plenty of opportunities to strengthen your personal integrity and stay true to your values. If you haven’t already, think about what you value in life, where your priorities lie, and how they can shape you into a better person. It may even help to write it down. If you’re ever faced with a challenge that you haven’t thought about it’s always best to just trust your instincts and follow your heart.
10: Procrastinate efficiently:
College life is a crash course in efficient time management but wasting time is just something we all fall into from day to day. College gave me a little glimpse into how to be better organized, balance fun and work, and put my priorities in order. Sure, everyone knows how to procrastinate but not everyone does it well.
Assuming that everyone who reads this knows how to manage their time, there is something special that FIDM students learn outside the classroom— and this is how to procrastinate like a pro! No, I don’t mean watching Netflix the day before the final but what I do mean, is how to use your energy efficiently.
Think of driving a car. There are ups and downs, bumps in the road, stop signs, roadblocks, traffic lights and other things that are preventing you from going full speed. College life is the same way. As students-- no matter how many cups of coffee we consume-- we can't be going full speed all the time.
FIDM is unique in the sense that final grades are made up of many moving components. For example, there are group projects, research papers, in-class discussions, homeworks, case studies quizzes, essays, tests, and a bunch of other assignments that teachers make us do. For me, these tasks include mindlessly writing index cards, making citations, watching a video assignment, monitoring my grades online, organizing my school supplies, and writing out a schedule for the week ahead. At the end of it all, I feel relaxed, refreshed and ready to tackle something more challenging.If you're feeling overwhelmed but don't have the time for a break, try standing up, taking a 2-minute walk to get some water, and starting on a new assignment that won't take as much energy.
