The 10 Types of People You'll Meet in LA
We all know the story of most early immigrants— coming to America and arriving in New York to achieve the “American Dream.” This sequence of events has earned NYC the nickname of “The Melting Pot”, “The Salad Bowl” or whatever other metaphor you want to use to describe the coming together of diverse cultures. Well, Los Angeles has a similar reputation, being home to many “transplants,” or in other words: people who got lured into the facade of the stereotypical LA lifestyle.
If you’ve ever lived in Los Angeles you can probably identify some of these people in your life.
The Hometown Hero:
These people are most prevalent in college towns and most likely came to Los Angeles because they felt that they were ‘too good’ for their original stomping grounds. This person achieves small-time social media fame of people from their hometown who are envious of the non-stop photoshoots at Santa Monica Pier and Runyon Canyon. Hometown Heroes feel that they’ve reached the pinnacle of their life by moving to sunny SoCal but in reality, adulthood has not hit these individuals yet. Hometown Heroes tend not to make friends because they spend all their time talking about their hometown.
Pro: They have hilarious stories from high school.
Con: The won’t shut up about it.
The C List Celebrity:
You won’t recognize this individual yet they expect to be admired everywhere they go. I’m not too sure what differentiates a C-lister from an A-lister, and neither do they because they will insist that they’re famous.
Pro: They can probably get you into some pretty exclusive events that you would’ve otherwise had no idea were going on.
Con: Don’t get this individual angry unless you want hear the infamous line, “Do you know who I am?”
The Bombshell:
You try to hate her. You really do. But her shining platinum locks, tanned skin, plump lips, and bubbly personality will naturally draw you to her. She’s always stuntin’ on snapchat and her Instagram profile is a flawless collection of beautifully curated photos that are #goals. She is like, totally exactly what you think of when you hear the term “California Girl”—literally.
Pro: Although she may seem like a snob, if you roll with her you're guaranteed to get into any club.
Con: No matter how good looking you are, you’ll always look ugly standing next to a bombshell.
The Actor/Model:
Ahhhh Los Angeles, home to many aspiring entertainers busing tables at a local restaurant to afford rent. You’ll know immediately if you've encountered this personality because of the way they talk about 'The Industry." You can tell how much work an actor.model gets by how much he/she talks about it. In my experience, working entertainers hate to talk about it, whereas those hoping for work love to talk about it.
Pro: Maybe they’ll invite you to attend their next movie premiere.
Con: They’ll make you watch their reel over and over again and give feedback.
The Bro:
Honey, this man needs to be AVOIDED! This dude is always holding a solo cup and yelling at other’s to drink outside his house which he undoubtedly shares with 10 other guys. This man can be easily identified because he’s probably wearing cargo shorts, boat shoes and a polo shirt. (How original.) Homeboy will shamelessly text you, “wyd” at 1:00 am then proceed to get pissed at you when you don’t answer.
Pro: NONE! Go back to college ya frat-boy wannabe!
Con: He’s uncultured and makes slightly ignorant comments in casual conversation
The Vegan:
All the foods you love or once loved to consume are now deemed unhealthy by this demographic's standards. These regular juicers can be found worshipping at the nearest Whole Foods or farmer’s market.
Pro: You’ll defectively develop healthier eating habits by befriending this individual.
Con: You’ll feel low-key guilty for eating a burger in front of them, even if it is hormone-free and ethically sourced.
The Singer/Rapper/DJ:
Undoubtedly one of the most annoying genre of people I have ever met in LA. Just because he/she has Garage Band and internet access doesn’t make them a musician! They’ll go on and on about his/her life as a musician, but you’ll never actually see perform IRL. Yes, musicans are dreamy but they tend to be creative and emotional, so be careful what you say around them.
Pro: You’ll most likely get asked to be featured on their next track even though your voice sounds like a cat in labor.
Con: They’ll always be too busy making music to actually hang out with you.
The Brunch Mom:
These ladies look like they just stepped off the set of the Real Housewives… and maybe some of them have. Brunch mom’s are basically grown up bombshells who’ve found the fountain of youth at the local plastic surgeon's office—and have no problem paying for it with the alimony from their 3rd ex husband. When these ladies are not at a local cafe gossiping with friends they can be found at a Soul Cycle class or poppin’ xanx while jet setting to Europe for the summer.
Pro: Will always be available for brunch because the nanny drops the kids off at school every morning.
Con: Will throw a fit if there is gluten in the cookies you brought to the bake sale.
The Daddy:
No, this has nothing to do with actual fatherhood. Sexy, manly, charismatic, and definitely older than you are all characteristics to describe this type of man. He will constantly brag about how much money he makes and will show off by picking you up in the nicest car you’ve ever rode in to get drinks at the Chateau. You have no idea what he actually does for a living but then again, does it really matter anyway?
Pro: He will take you on shopping sprees, lavish trips and maybe even pay your rent.
Con: You won't get any of the pros if you’re not willing to put out. (You mean it’s possible for a girl to not be DTF just because you have money???))
The Local:
Last but not least is the breath of fresh air whom I call the locals. Despite the 4 million people living in LA, locals are the hardest to come by. This person most likely went to UCLA, USC, or LMU and has never really left LA. With no defining factors, these people are the easiest to get along with. He/she probably works for a startup and doesn't give a flying f*ck that they live minutes from the Entertainment Capitol of the world.
Pro: Can tell you all the best places to meet celebrities
Con: None, befriend as many locals as you can because they will help navigate this crazy city and keep you sane.
